Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Insecurities and Perempuan.

Assalamualaikum and Hello!

"Love is a funny thing"- Love Someone by Jason Mraz.

I just scrollling through my tweets. I found my previous tweets that goes like this, " Woman always feels insecure. That's why you have to convince her that she's the one. Say and prove it".

Perempuan always over think. Even I myself mcm tu sbb i perempuan. Hahaha.Okay tak lawak pun. I mean being somebody's first love is a wonderful thing because you would be crazy about each other. Because you gonna think your partner tu is the one lah! Yang nak bawa sampai mati. You have no other person before that utk dibandingkan. You create your own memories, your own craziness, you just follow your heart.

Not being able to be somebody's first love would always make you think whether you are good enough or not. Hahaha especially i myself akan fikir, whether aku lagi cantik tak, aku lagi kelakar tak, aku lagi awesome tak, aku lagi cool tak, aku lagi pandai tak, aku lagi famous tak. Famous?!HAHAHAHA motif sangat. But you know what I mean. 

I know the facts of you'll never get to be the same person as before because kau adalah orang lain. Nama pun lain , mak bapak pun lain, jadahnya nak jadi mcm that exact person. But kita akan rasa dibandingkan dan kita juga bertindak untuk membandingkan. Tapi entahlah. Sometimes you just want to insert all the best thing you've had with the person before into the person you're in love now. But what the hell is that. I mean that's not how life supposed to be!

Sebab maybe you always think that, your loved ones might just remembered the good things that he had done with his loved ones before . Tapi biasalah tu. Even I myself do that. It's just much better to be somebody's first love. But i bet if he or myself did not screwed up with our first love then we may not be together dho. Hahaha.

But yeah, insecurities not being able to be good enough. Good enough for you to forget your ex which means menunjukkan betapa kuat nya memori tercipta dahulu. Dan memori yang sedang berlaku antara kau dgn org yang baru tidak cukup kuat utk lupakan memori lama. Sbb tu org kata insecure tu haa. Sebab kau rasa kau tak cukup bagus utk buat dia rasa "LIHATLAH DUNIA!YOU ARE MY ONLY ONE AND I AM SUPER DUPER GLAD THAT GOD CREATED YOU FOR ME!". Okay gua bermetafora tapi faham lah kan maksudnya.hahahaha. Kadang2 buat kita terfikir, kalau aku takde, adakah dia akan rasa merana dan meratapi sebagaimana dia hilang yang pertama dulu? Sebab kita manusia easily immune dan adapt dgn situasi yg pernah dilalui. Betul tak? Tapi if kau merupakan org yang paling menakjubkan dlm hidup dia, kehilangan kau pasti satu benda yang sangat janggal baginya even dia pernah melalui detik kehilangan kerana bagi dirinya kau merupakan satu dalam sejuta. Huish *rasa deep dgn ayat sendiri*

So mcm mana nak setel? Only time will tell. If somebody loves you, dia tak kan stay away from you. Mungkin apa dia bagi tak sama dgn apa org sebelumnya bagi. But itu sedaya dia. Appreciate that. If somebody boleh terusan konsisten give attention to you tak lebih namun tak juga kurang, then hargai, be thankful.

Till then, much love bye!

Friday, 20 June 2014

The End of 4th Sem and Berangan !

Assalamualaikum and Hello!

Officially I have completed all the exams for this fourth semester! Yeayyy dah tamat dua tahun bebeyh! Another 2 more years to go. Bring it on bebeyh!

Rasa giler cepat masa berlalu and so far life kinda okay. Sometimes I just keep coming back about being so much thankful to God about being surrounded by good people, good friends, parents who keep on nagging about mistakes I've done and yeah my loved ones. Kadang-kadang kita sibuk nak cherish masa silam yang seronok tapi sebenarnya kita boleh create moment yg seronok dan baru bersama org lain. "Cherish every moments you've got"- somebody used to told me that. I bet you know who you are if you're reading this. Hihi

Life is complicated sometimes. How I wish I could go back in times and just be a little kid again. How I wish I could keep intact with my  best friends during my primary schools. How I wish I could be different version of Nur fatin Najiha. Hahaha but you know what, I do not regret with the decisions that I've made throughout my 21 years of life. Yeke?! Hahhahaha ada la here and there yang kalau boleh nak tukar pilihan tapi I kinda like with my life dari segi it has been quite a journey.

I like to imagine about telling what things I've done and been through to my kids in the future. Buat mcm ala ala bed time story tp based on true story gitcheww.Hhahaha. Despite being nervous about the future, I am kinda excited about it. Especially regarding cita cita and love life. How I wish I would end up marrying with the person I'm dating right now. But eyy tu semua kan kerja tuhan. We should hold thing loosely if it's not certain. We are not perfect, we have our own flaws, but he accepted me just the way I am. He looks right into my eyes and I could see that passion. Eyes are like windows to your heart ogayhh.Aicecehh. But that is one of the reason why I could fall for him.

Leave everything to God cos he's the best planner .