I'm Okay

I am a human. I have feelings.

I try not to be a baby or be a typical lady who is easily emotional, clingy and over reacting.

I try to be normal. Things I have to be mad, I try to play it cool. But for some reason, I feel like I'm not being me. I've lost myself along the way of being "normal".

I say OK to everything. When people asked me "Don't be mad", Don't be sad", etc and I say OK. But again I'm a human. Who has feelings and emotions. 

I'm tired. I feel like I'm not the old me. The one who loves to chatter around, the one who has high pitch voice, the one who acts so diva, the one who always sulking, the one who easily get mad and cool. If you think I am no longer act like that with you meaning I am not being myself.

I'm tired to see the situation around me. I'm tired cos no one actually care to know about it. What's worse is when you try to share it with somebody, but they are clueless about telling you what you gotta do. Instead trying to change the topic cos dont want a serious conversation.

Oh god. Sometimes I do wish for a second chance to start fresh. To actually have the chance to choose people I really want in my life. To rethink about the decisions that I've made. How come I feel last time was the best moment ever happened in my life despite all the hardness that I've been through. I swear I dont have this kind of feeling before. 

I just need to be rescued. From all of these bullshits, people's bullshits. How they dont appreciate you or feel you are not worth to be appreciated, til one day they think they feel alone and come after you. Sometimes I just want to get away from all the people I've known and start living in a new place. Unknown. Wonder who will look for me.

I guess no one. Cos people would think I'm OK.